O.S.I.F.

Well, here we are at the end of the week, and I know what you are
thinking... TGIF!!


All over the country people are excitedly making plans for Friday night,
or the whole weekend - we are all so glad the workweek is over.


But for some good friends, it is a different scenario. They don't look
forward to Friday night whatsoever. It is the night they run over to their
ailing parents to take care of them, and it is not a fun event. In fact,
it is so maddening and uncomfortable and exasperating, they begin dreading
it Thursday night and have trouble even sleeping. Then a pall hangs over
their entire Friday, it makes for a long day. When I realized they were
NOT excitedly declaring TGIF like the rest of us, I coined OSIF, and it
stuck.


So what could be so hard about tending the old folks? you might wonder.
Well, when they go, they cook meals, clean the house, bathe Mom and Dad.
It could be an enjoyable task for some, if the players were all normal
folks, but this is not THAT family.


Dad had a stroke, a heart attack in February, and now has been diagnosed
with lung cancer. He is cranky, uncooperative, unappreciative, and
downright mean spirited. Mom had a heart attack in January and now has
Alzheimers. That makes it easier to deal with her abusive husband who
continues to steal her money and run up the charge cards gambling online.
MANY thousands of dollars have gone to that, and now the high interest on
those cards sucks any and all income- thus no money available for nursing
care.


Enter the loving children.


Well, it's true they love Mom and Dad as children are supposed to, but the
family dynamic with 4 siblings and old, dying, needy, verbally abusive
parents is hardly a lovefest, especially on Friday nights. It is a 5
hour-long argument/fight that at times has come to blows. There are also an
involved brother, and somewhat involved sister as well. Said sister was a
nurse at one point, so she convinced Mom and Dad they could stay in their
home and the kids would be able to help out. (much to the continued
protestations by the other siblings.) My friend and his wife committed to
coming Friday nights, and they are very faithful about it. The sister is
rather crazy - she went postal LITERALLY not too long ago at work, at the
post office, flipping off her boss and then trying to run him over with the
postal jeep, then threatening suicide and driving up towards Camelback. The
police interceded just before she drove the jeep over a cliff. True story.


Her sketchy involvement Friday nights was really only making it all that
much harder, so it's somewhat of a relief that she no longer comes over to
help.


So the saga continues: The siblings don't agree at all on how to care
for Mom and Dad, my friends continue their filial duties, and the parents
refuse to get more professional help. Earlier this week Dad went into the
hospital with pneumonia, in complete denial as to how close to death he
most likely is.


And another OSIF is upon us!

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